Written by Tom Reynolds, Director of Ministry
Early Monday morning I was on my way to the oral surgeon to begin the first step of a six-month process of getting a dental implant. The doctor had said my front left tooth was beyond saving and needed to come out, so there I was in the dental chair to start my week at 7 AM.
The next thing I knew, I was at home waking up on my couch with gauze stuffed in my mouth. As I unpacked the blood-stained packing, I discovered a huge gap in my smile. It felt and even looked like a hole as large as the Grand Canyon.
Once I started coming fully to my senses, my mind began to race around the idea of how do I interact in public with a toothless grin. While they had made a fake tooth to wear which professionally is referred to as a “flipper,” I could not wear that until the swelling had come down. So, I was certainly facing a couple of days of toothlessness in public.
Surprisingly, my mind quickly began to obsess over how to cover up this obvious and glaring flaw. How can I talk without exposing my teeth?
I began practicing in the mirror. I discovered that I don’t typically reveal my upper teeth while I talk normally. I need to make sure that when I smile, I keep my lips together and give a very pursed smile.
How can I keep my hand in front of my mouth? I was shocked at how self-conscious I had become so quickly. I could not think about anything else.
And my tongue was consumed with the cavernous space in the front of my mouth. It seemed to uncontrollably explore every nanometer of space.
“Now You Are One of Us!”
As I headed to His Way on Tuesday morning to greet the house full of brothers at our 7 AM devotional, my mind was still racing with concern about my obvious deformity. How do I address them first thing in the morning without exposing my glaring flaw and the obvious lisp that comes with it?
I spent a few minutes practicing in front of the mirror before I took my position before the early morning crowd and announced “Good Morning, Welcome to Tuesday!”
But as I sat before them an overwhelming feeling came over me; I had to be honest and open. If I ask them from the day they enter our program to be open and vulnerable in order to allow God to change them, how can I contradict this at this vulnerable moment in my life?
So, I announced boldly and loudly, “Welcome to Tuesday!” and then gave them a big grin. And they all in unison laughed. It was a laughter that initially hurt, but like getting the tooth pulled, it was now quickly over.
But then they said something that resonated in my soul. “Now you are one of us! Now you know what we feel like.”
You see, most men in addiction have serious dental issues. Drug and alcohol ravage teeth. Most of our guys lack many teeth.
One of our main initiatives is to help them get assistance with their dental work. We are blessed to have several compassionate volunteer dental groups that help our men get rid of old, bad teeth and replace them either with dentures, partials, or even implants.
Many of our guys are in various stages of that process. So when they said, “Now you know how we feel,” I had dozens of toothless grins smiling back at me.
Covering up Our Flaws
Later, I reflected, “Is this how they really feel?” The same way I had obsessed over the past 24 hours? Is this how they feel all the time?
Self-absorbed about their obvious flaws being exposed? Consumed with thoughts about what people may think and how can I cover my flaws up?
Having the repressed inner thoughts of insecurity and feelings of being less than everyone else, obsessions with self-consciousness suddenly rush to the front of my brain to dominate my thoughts all the time. What do those big, white-toothed grins think of me? What are they saying about me behind my back?
I quickly realized how all-consuming covering up our flaws can become. Not just flawed smiles, but flawed characters, tarnished reputations, humiliating behaviors, and obvious marks of past choices.
David describes this cover-up as, “For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.” (Psalms 32:3,4).
What a burden covering up our sin, our embarrassments, and our flaws can be.
Liberation, David describes, comes in confession. When our greatest fears of being exposed finally are lifted, we experience the unburdening of our insecurities and shame.
We know the gift of God’s and others’ grace. When in my confession I see the toothless grins of all those gazing back at me who say, “Now you know how we feel,” and “Welcome to the club!” a relief of acceptance washes over me.
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)
Grin Big in the Grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ!
Now I know experientially why, when the guys get their new teeth, they grin so large and are so grateful. The shame is gone. The cover-up is over. The burden of self-obsession is behind them.
There is freedom! They can hold their head high. They can meet people without feeling less than them and wondering what they must be thinking of them.
That is not only the promise of new teeth but more significantly, the promise through God’s grace of a new life. God sent his one and only Son into this world to identify with us. Not only does He know how we feel, but He also comes to do something about it.
He frees us from the burden. The Man who knew no sin became sin that we might become the righteousness of God. (II Corinthians 5:21)
So maybe this six-month dental procedure is more about becoming like those I serve and less about an implant. It is my opportunity to empathize with my brothers at His Way so I can come to know how they feel and see what life looks like for them.
As Paul describes this kind of experience with the words from I Corinthians 9:22, “I have become all things to all people, that by all means, I might save some.” And Paul adds, “I do all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.” (I Corinthians 9:23) The blessing of the gospel comes in the sharing of its grace with others.
I look forward to sharing in God’s toothless blessings of His gospel with my His Way brothers.